Homeward
by SeSeesaw
Summary: Sam heads for home. sequel to Forward and Back


**Homeward** By SeSeesaw 

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DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This was written for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the author.

SEQUEL: onwards and upwards and forward and backwards.

RATING: PG-13, little bit of swearing

AUTHORS NOTES: indicates the passage of time. So the good news is this has been beta-ed, which is really lucky 'cos I went a bit mad tense wise for a while. So huge gratitude to Katianna and Karrie-Beth (I blame the schooling system).

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God she was tried. It felt like eternity since she last slept, all she had to do was one more report for General Hammond and then she could finally escape and go home. Janet gathered together all her test results and left her office heading towards the General's office. It really had been a long day, or day and a half to be precise. SG-2 had somehow ended up in an avalanche and returned with more then one broken bone between them. She had spent 6 hours in surgery trying to fix Colonel Manison's left leg. Fortunately he would walk again but not in the near future. The gentle ping of the elevator informed her she had reached her designated floor. Thankfully it was late and most of the staff were sleeping and she wouldn't have to field a dozen or so questions about SG-2. It was heart warming that the base was so close but she just didn't have it in her to answer the same questions time and again tonight. Finally reaching her destination she rapped lightly on General Hammond's door. A gruff "come in" granted her access. The General was seated at his desk, papers strewn over its normally neat surface. He looked as tried as she felt.

"Have a seat Doctor."

An order she followed with relish, slumping into the chair, dropping her file in her lap.

"How's everyone in the infirmary?"

This was the General's not so subtle way of asking after his men.

"Fine sir, might be a while before they're all back on their feet but they'll get there."

"That's good to hear Doctor and what of the Colonel."

Shuffling through the folder on her lap until she found the sheet she was looking for, she read,

"Well sir I'd say he was suffering from insomnia, exhaustion, stress and by his blood work he hasn't been eating very much."

A sigh escaped General Hammond, she knew the feeling. This was not how the 2IC of the base should be acting. She did understand though, she felt the same about Sam's loss. The joy she had felt that she might be coming home, the thrill that had run through her at the thought of telling Cassie that she was alright, and then to have it snatched so cruelly from them. It was the not knowing that slayed her, no matter how many times she told herself that no news was good news. But at night her mind would slip into over drive. Did the Gou'ld have her? Was she alive? Was she waiting for them? So many unanswered questions, it was enough to drive anyone crazy, and the Colonel, well he had much more then just Sam to think about. The General speaking interrupted her thoughts and she quickly refocused,

"Would this have anything to do with his wife?"

"I don't think that's all of it sir. To be quite honest I've never seen a separation go so well. Nicole has bought a house a 5-minute walk from the Colonels so he has easy access to his son. He even helped her move in. I think it's for the best really, they make better friends then partners. I think the Colonel knows it too."

"I see, then I'd be right in assuming that his ill health would be attributed to the whereabouts of Major Carter."

"I think that about sums it up sir" she paused momentarily and then continued on before she could back out "He wasn't doing so well after we learnt of Major Carter's reassignment. I didn't alert you sir because it wasn't anything serious at the time but the culmination of recent events seems to be getting the better of him,"

"Where is he now?"

"I gave him a mild sedative and he's asleep in the infirmary."

"When you feel it's appropriate I want you to send him home, I'm putting him on down time."

Janet rose to her feet grateful that the day was drawing to an end

"Yes sir."

"And Doctor tell him that if I find him on base over the next 48 hours I'll have him removed, dismissed."

She couldn't help but smile. Hammond knew the Colonel too well, it was entirely likely that he may yet have to make good on that threat. Turning she left his office deciding that she would leave the task of telling Jack he would have to leave the base for 2 days to someone else. She would leave a note in his medical chart, let some else handle it, she was going home to some much-deserved sleep.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut refusing to believe that it was daylight already. The constant pounding in her head, which had afflicted her since the crash, had gotten that little bit worse again. She adamantly refused to acknowledge the little voice that kept whispering that it was far more then a concussion. She must focus on the positive, on getting home. The Colonel would be pissed. She'd told him she'd be there to collect Jones. She was at least 10 days overdue although her time on the planet seemed much longer then that. They had spent the first two days trying to piece the communications back together but it had been hopeless. In the end Ben had managed to tweak some of the sensors and get the position of the stargate (thank God there was one on this hellhole of a planet). It was supposed to be an 8-day hike, but they hadn't taken into account the terrain they would be crossing or just how much their injuries would slow them. It had taken them an entire day to get out of the valley the ship had crashed in. Scaling the steep and slippery slope had been exhausting. A snapping branch altered Sam's senses and her eyes flew open. An intense pain shot through her head to accompany the ever present dull pounding but she refused to close her eyes. She waited, her entire body tense for any sign of danger, but after a few moments she figured they were safe and dragged herself into a sitting position.

Choosing not to bother wasting energy by standing she crawled over to the ashes of last night's fire and added some kindling. She longed for some heat to soothe her tired muscles, for a shower to remove the layers of grim on her body, some medication to dull the ache in her head and the shooting pain from her broken ribs. She had none of these however, all that could be salvaged was a compass, a GDO (the most highly prized of their few possessions) 6 MRE's, 4 canteens of water, two blankets and a flare. Pretty merger pickings from an entire ship. By now they were down to the last two MRE's and half a canteen of water.

Five days walking through bog land had all but ruined their blankets. During that time Sam was nearly sure she would have gone insane if it weren't for Ben's incessant jabbering. The thick ooze that covered the ground spanned for miles, sucking her boots in make every step twice the effort, covering her boots making them the heaviest thing she had ever carried. Her muscles had screamed at her to sit, to stop moving but she would never give up. She knew Ben, whose injuries mainly consisted of a swollen wrist and small cuts and bruises from being thrown around the cargo bay, was feeling the same. She was grateful that he had filled the time with stories from his childhood. And Sam in turn had told her stories to him, trying to keep her mind off the same monotonous scenery or the winter breeze that would blow at night, the cold heightened by their inability to light a fire on such wet ground. Huddling together was their only source of heat.

It had been hard but then out of nowhere a forest had appeared on the horizon. Tiny at first but growing ever bigger as the ground grew ever harder. It had brightened her sprits, Ben's too. It made their load a little lighter. Surely here they would find food, water, firewood. And so they had hurried, eager to get there. It had not gone as expected but where was the 'fun' if it was easy. Dusk was settling in and they began eagerly looking for firewood, thankful at last this was possible. Even before they had finished piling the wood a huge feline animal similar to a cougar appear out of no where. With a snarl it had pounced on Ben using it's huge paws to pin him down. Acting on instinct and instinct alone Sam had grabbed their one and only flare, struck it and threw it at the huge cat. The animal's eyes had narrowed dangerously before it slunk away.

Considering the size of the cat and the aggression with which it had attacked it appeared that Ben got off light. One or two nasty gashes on his arms and torso that could do with a stitch or two but nothing that seemed life treating. But Sam was soon learning that nothing on this planet was easy. They made good progress over the next two days, the terrain was not as harsh and with fruit and berries they could subsidise their food. All had seemed well as it could be with exception to the pounding in her head and the hunger knawing in her stomach. However when they settled in for the night at a small rock formation Ben had complained of feeling ill. By morning Sam couldn't wake him and by mid afternoon he was burning up. With no antibiotics to fight his infection there was little Sam could do but try and keep Ben hydrated with the little water supply they had. This was not good.

Its funny, Jack's house didn't seem that different. Like Nicole had never really been there, just a few bits and pieces gone here or there. She had officially moved all her belongings out today to a house only two roads over. Ideal really, no one would miss out on Michael growing up. Daniel knew Jack didn't love Nicole in an all-encompassing soul mate kind of way but she was still his friend and companion and so he thought it wise to visit him. That's how Daniel found himself sitting on a chair in Jack's living room watching him play horsy with Michael on his knees. He looked tired and thinner then usual. Janet had him ordered him off base for 2 days but it'd been 3 now since he had left. It couldn't be easy for him. Since Nicole and her new boyfriend Matt were still in the delicate process of decorating they left Mike with Jack for safeties sake. Watching Jack's intent focus on his child and the soft smiles he sent him, Daniel could clearly see he was delighted with this arrangement. Never glancing away form the grinning child he asked,

"Any word from Jacob."

It had been the same question everyday since he was ordered off base. He rang every morning and every evening. Unfortunately Daniel always had the same answer.

"No."

Jacob had made a swift exit after he found out that the SGC was unable to help. He was at this very moment searching for Sam. He had promised to keep them informed of his progress but so far there was no news. Jack showed no emotion except maybe for his sad eyes clouding over slightly. This was not why he was here, to go over old ground. Bracing himself for the on-coming battle Daniel leant forward, placing his elbows on his knees and fixing Jack with a stare,

"How are you Jack?"

He didn't respond, just cradled his child in his arms as he leant back on the couch. In an attempt to get him to open up Daniel tried elaborating.

"It just seems like you're losing a lot of late," pausing but with still no sign from Jack that he was listening he continued,

"I mean Nicole moved out, Sam's missing, you….ah… haven't been that well of late."

Jack's head finally turned his way to send him a dangerous glare. He wasn't supposed to know about Jack's health but Daniel had spies everywhere. As Mike slowly drifted off to sleep in Jack's arms he finally made a move to speak, which was fortunate, as Daniel had run out of things to say.

"It just seems that everything that I hoped for, fought for in life is moving further and further away."

"You have Mike"

Another soft smile crossed Jack's face as he stared down at his son.

"I know.. it's just …." He trailed off so Daniel finished for him.

"Sam's supposed to be here."

He nodded in agreement to the statement.

"Even if she couldn't be mine Daniel I was always sure she'd be my friend, in my life. That she'd watch Mike grow up, but she's gone and I can't find her. Even if she can get back to us who's to say she'll stay."

Jack's heartache was almost palpable. It was shared by SG-1. Having such a large part of their life removed was disconcerting, like losing a limb. Jack finally made a move muttering,

"I'm going to put him down for the night" as he left the room.

Daniel remained seated allowing memories of happier times in this house to wash over him, he could almost smell the barbecue. A few minutes later Jack returned with a baby monitor in one hand and two bottles in the other. He handed Daniel a beer and they sit silently sipping for a moment or two.

"Daniel?"

Jack sounded hesitant making Daniel more alert,

"Do you think we did this? Pushed her away I mean."

Daniel had been thinking along the same lines himself and could only respond with a shrug of his shoulders.

"She didn't think we cared, didn't think this was home any more."

Ahhhh… Sam must have said something to him. A worried frown knitted his brow.

"I should have told her" Jack paused to sip his beer, "I should have told her how I felt."

Daniel can't deny the truth that Jack had spoken.

"I should have too" he added his own regrets.

No more words were spoken as both finished their beers.

On the morning of her 2nd day at the rock formation Sam woke to find Ben still burning with fever and all the water gone. They needed to get the hell off this planet but Sam couldn't do that unless Ben's fever broke and that was never gonna happen if she didn't find more water. She would have to go and find some. Visions of the wild cat returning while she was gone crowded her mind but she pushed them away. He could die if she left him alone but he could also die if she didn't find water. The decision was made, she would go. Gathering together as much wood as she could she built a large fire in the hope it would keep predators at bay, it had worked so far. She then crawled over to Ben. His forehead was covered in sweat and he muttered uneasily in his sleep. Sam took hold of one of his hands and with the other pushed his damp hair from his face.

"Ben I have to leave you alone for a little while, I need to find some water, I won't be long."

She leaned forward and bushed a gentle kiss on his head. As she drew back she was surprised to find Ben's glazed eyes focusing on her. His grip tightened on her hand as he all but whispered.

"Don't go."

"I have to, I have to get you better."

"No." his hold on her hand was firm.

In what she hoped was a soothing gesture she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I won't be long I promise."

His gaze never left her face and for a moment his intense green eyes lost their sick glaze and in a surprisingly steady voice he told her.

"You do know I love you Sam. I love all that you are."

Sam's voice caught in her throat.

"You had to know that before I die."

Emotions flew through Sam at the speed of light, joy, love, sorrow and not knowing which one to respond to she leaned forward and this time brushed her lips to his. Pulling away slowly she was surprised to feel Ben's hand on the back of her neck pulling her mouth back to his. This time Sam's gentle kiss was replaced with one more passionate as their mouths melted together and tongues danced. Pulling back a fraction she whispered.

"I won't let you die." Before pulling away completely and standing.

Ben gazed up at her for a moment before drifting back off into a feverish sleep.

Sam had found water. In fact Sam had found water quite easily, which made her automatically suspicious, nothing on this planet could be trusted. The crystal clear pool in front of her did look terribly enciting and the number of animal tracks near the water's edge would indicate it was drinkable. Of course it also increased the likely hood of running into an animal but Sam had set her mind on a task and she would complete it.

She quickly made her way back to camp, only stopping on the way to pick up two large branches about 2 foot long. Breathing a sigh of relief on seeing Ben unharmed, she made him drink the last of the water, her fears of dehydration still present. Turning back to the task at hand she found a large stone and much to the protest of her body used it to remove any smaller twigs protruding from the large branches. Once she had the branches as bare as possible she stripped off her standard issue jacket, grateful she had worn both a shirt and long sleeved vest underneath. She threaded the two branches through the sleeves of the jacket and then repeated the exercise with Ben's jacket. Zipping them both up and turning it over she was quite pleased with her make shift stretcher. Exhausted she dropped to the ground taking a moment to rest before beginning the harder part of the operation. She didn't sit for long though, throwing a handful of dirt on the fire, she then rolled Ben onto the stretcher covering him with the blankets.

She secured him to the stretcher by ripping strips off the end of her shirt, tying them together and strapping Ben on. Hating to do it but knowing realistically they'd never make it back to their rocky shelter she piled any remaining firewood on Ben's chest. Lifting the two branches at Ben's head she inhaled sharply as she took the weight across her chest and shoulders. At this rate her ribs would never heal. She noted with some relief that only Ben's heels dragged on the ground. Grateful for her ability to focus entirely on one thing she put one foot in front of the other and ignored the pain in her body, sounds of the forest and all else until she saw water.

Her previous 10 minute journey had turned into an almost 30 minute excursion with the extra load slowing her but she couldn't sit still now. If she stopped now she wouldn't be able to move again for several hours and Ben needed her. She wouldn't fail him. Untying him from his bed she stripped him down to his underwear doing the same to herself, she then took a firm hold of his body. Immediately grateful and them terrified of the heat emanating from him. She made an unsteady progress to the water demanding that her legs remain up right. Slowly she made her way forward until she was waist deep in water. She held Ben so that his entire body with the exception to his head was under the cooling water. Sam stood there until her body shook with cold before dragging them both in land. She dried them both with one of the blankets, before the slow process of redressing them both with numb fingers. She had only moved Ben a couple of meters from the waters edge before her body finally gave out on her.

Lacking even the energy to light a fire she attached herself to Ben in a desperate attempt to keep at bay the bone chilling cold seeping into her body before she fell into an exhausted sleep. It was many hours later when Sam woke up. The dawn was breaking on a new day and a gentle scattering of bright light made its way through the leaves. Sam rolled her stiff body away from Ben. Her head hurt more, she wasn't quite sure how much more pain she could take. Even her eyesight seemed to be dimming, but nothing could be done about it. She stretched hoping to relieve some of the pain in her joints. Moving over to Ben to her great surprise she found his fever had all but gone. He was perhaps a bit too warm but nothing compared to the raging heat of the past couple of days.

Hope filled her like a balloon. She would get them home and Ben would live. With a renewed sense of purpose and energy she scoured the nearby bushes and trees for berries and fruit, applying what little she remembered from basic training to figure out which was toxic or edible. Eating some herself and the last of the MRE's as Ben couldn't handle many solids, lifted her sprits further. She propped Ben up and made him sip water and eat some of the softer berries. He still wasn't conscious very often, only waking periodically and then not making much sense. He was getting better through which meant Sam could move him without fear. No more sitting idly by. They couldn't be more then 2 and a half days from the Stargate when Ben fell ill. And although it was slow and hard work she did have a means to move Ben until he was on his own two feet. So Sam filled their canteens with water, found as much fruit as she could and a few more bits of firewood. She packed all these around Ben's still body and lifted her heavy load again. With her head held high she set off in the direction of home.

For 3 days she dragged Ben, often having to lift him over fallen logs or travelling a longer journey to avoid uneven ground. The journey was made slower by her constant need to stop and rest. They lived on berries and she gave nearly all the water to Ben still fearful of his health. Every night she built a fire to keep the inhabitants of the forest away. She would curl up next to Ben who would instinctively wrap his arms around her. Every morning it was harder to wake. Her body would tire more, her head pounding and greyness now seeped into her vision. Stubborn will alone kept Sam alive but the two-day journey had now turned into 4 days and she was near breaking point until the forest ended just as suddenly as it had appeared. She found herself standing at the top of a steep hill. The bottom of the valley below was hidden from her by the encroaching darkness of night and her failing eyesight.

Excitement bubbled within her as she felt a familiar tingle at the base of her head. Naquada, she could sense it, the Stargate had to be near by. She was close but could progress no further in the dark. It would be difficult enough to get down the hill in daylight and so for the last time, she hoped, she built a fire, made Ben drink and eat and then ate some berries. Ben, who had begun to regain consciousness more frequently now that his fever had broken, croaked

"Sam?"

She was by his side as fast as her body would allow.

"We still here."

She actually smiled, the knowledge that the Stargate was so close causing her to alternately feel like laughing and then crying with relief.

"We found the Stargate. We'll get home tomorrow and then you'll get better."

"Knew you'd get us there, my hero."

And then he chuckled and it was the most wonderful sound she had heard in a very long time. She buried her head in his shoulder and wrapped her arms tightly around him. He gathered her in his arms and they held each other.

"Tired" whispered Ben.

Sam turned her head.

"Sleep, we're going home tomorrow."

Within moments both had drifted off to sleep and for once happy thoughts played through their dreams.

Sam woke in mild panic. She had opened her eyes but the world had remained dark. She quickly shut them again and focused on her sense of touch instead. She was still in Ben's arms although at some point during the night his hands had migrated to beneath her shirt, his warm touch making her feel protected. The rise and fall of his chest confirming he was still alive. The feel of the warm sun on her face told her that it was late morning. She tried opening her eyes again. Instead of darkness she was greeted by a dim grey colour. She tried blinking a few times and slowly the world began to take shape, however the darkness didn't disappear completely leaving her with a mild case of tunnel vision. She stood unsteadily, still deeply distributed by the pounding in her head and diminished sight. Below her was a valley much like the one they crashed in. There was a steep descent just at her feet and smack bang in the middle of the valley, a giant ring of stone. Sam could have jumped for joy if she possessed such energy but they weren't home and dry yet. They still had to make it down the valley. She would never be able to drag Ben down the descent in a stretcher - it would be impossible. They both would have to walk. Waking Ben took a good 10 minutes and even then he was groggy and disorientated. She made him drink some water and propped him into a sitting position.

"Ben, I need your help ok. You're going to have to walk the rest of the way."

It took a minute or two for the information to sink in before he shook his head.

"Can't."

"Please Ben, I can't do this on my own."

He shook his head and mumbled something she couldn't make out. Tears stung at Sam's eyes. Frustration and exhaustion, a potent mix making her cry.

"Please Ben." She begged "I really can't do this on my own" she repeated.

Tears escaped her eyes leaving wet trails down her mud-streaked face.

Ben stared at her sorrow filled face and nodded.

"Try."

Sam exhaled deeply, and wiped a hand across her face and painted on a brave smile.

"Really?"

Ben didn't answer just looked at her with an anxious face. She threw one of Ben's arms over her shoulders griping it tightly with her left hand; she wrapped her right arm around his waist. Unimaginably grateful to be holding her shoulders and arms in a different position from the past few days she pulled them both to their feet. Ben lent on her heavily and they swayed unsteadily. Starting the last of their journey they wobbled their way to the start of the descent. Taking a cleansing breath Sam gritted her teeth and muttered.

"We can do this. We can."

And in fact they were managing to make better progress then Sam could have dreamed. It seemed getting into the valley was easier then climbing out. They had shakily made their way down. Stopping now and then to catch a breath. Both were covered in sweat but they where making it down the slope. It had taken them several hours but the ground was beginning to level off. Sam tried to ignore the increased weight that Ben put on her, the fading light, which she hoped was the sun setting and not her eyes going. A few hundred meters in front of her stood the most glorious sight she had ever seen. The Stargate.

"Sam." Ben mumbled.

But she refused to look at him, she wouldn't acknowledge his fatigue just like she wouldn't acknowledge her own.

"No." was all she said.

And so they travelled on in silence. Step by step they got closer and closer until they were standing at the DHD. She propped Ben up next to it and dialled earth. Watching in awe as the chevrons lit up, she carefully unwrapped the precious bundle from her breast pocket and she tapped in the IDC. Taking hold of Ben once more she turned to smile at him but he had lost consciousness. Sam cried. She cried with the effort of dragging Ben up the steps of the Stargate. She cried as pain coursed through her body and she cried with relief. But she never stopped her unsteady journey to the gate and as she stepped through the event horizon she let out a brief laugh. She was going home.

Jonas cracked a huge yawn that nearly split his jaw. He definitely heard it crack. The group of techs to his right gave him evil stares but he couldn't care less. They were supposed to be training him on the use of the control room computers. Of course Jonas had been playing around on the control room computers for months now but they didn't know that. They could at least pretend to be teaching him, instead they were all huddled in a group drinking coffee and gossiping. He supposed he could understand, it was four in the morning and it wasn't like there was a lot happening in the control room at this time. As if out of nowhere Jack appeared by his side. Jonas quickly slid his feet off the control panel that he was momentarily resting them on. He eyed Jack warily, he hadn't been on base for a couple of days and now he was showing up at the crack of dawn. And they called him weird.

"Ehhh…. Good morning Colonel?"

"Oh! Hey Jonas, didn't see you there."

Well obviously his eyesight as well as his mind was going.

"Any particular reason you're here so early that I should know about?"

Jack just scrunched up his face and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know just am."

OK. That was just odd. Silence descended except for the quite talking and odd laugh from the group behind them. Jonas racked his brain for something to say. He was about to make some ridiculous remark about the origins of coffee when the activation of the Stargate saved him. The techs all began milling around as one of them announced on the intercom.

"Un-Authorised Off World Activation."

Jonas stood up to make room for Siler to sit, as the Colonel took charge.

"Any G.D.O code"

"Just getting one now sir."

There was a silence as all around waited to know if it was friend or foe.

"It's the Tok'ra's IDC sir."

"Open the Iris"

And with that Jack disappeared down the stairs to the embarkation room before Jonas had a time to move. Quickly regaining his bearings he followed Jack and entered the embarkation room just as the iris slid open to reveal the shimmering blue surface underneath. All eyes where glued to it and Jonas just barely heard Jack send a plea to god.

"Please God let it be Jacob with news. Please."

Two figures stepped onto the ramp, one holding the other on his feet. It took Jonas a minute to recognise who it was at the top of the ramp, layers of dirt dulled her hair and her dirty face was streaked with tears. It was Sam. She blinked as though surprised she had arrived at this location and then a smile of pure relief lit her face before she crumpled like a rag doll to the floor, taking the man she was holding onto down with her. General Hammond's voice boomed from above them,

"Medical team to the gate room"

Jonas stood in shock at this turn of events and watched as Jack scrambled up the ramp, dropped down by Sam and groped blindly for a pulse. A smile briefly passed his lips as he gently cradled her head in his lap. Janet barrelled through the doors quickly followed by a number of medical staff and two gurneys. She ran up the ramp and pushed Jack aside, checking both of her new patients and shouting orders to her staff. Both were quickly transferred to the gurneys as medics swarmed around them and then moved as one to the infirmary. Half the gate room emptied as they followed the swarm of medical activity but all, including the General, were barred from entering the infirmary by a stern looking Dr. Frasier.

"We need to check them over, I'll inform you when I have some information"

They were dismissed, she turned and they were left staring at a closed door that refused to reveal any thing that was happening behind it. The General ordered everyone back to their posts until all that was left was Jonas, the General and Jack. It wasn't long before Teal'c and Daniel appeared along side them as they began their vigil outside the infirmary. Each of them praying in their own way that Sam hadn't come back to die.

Hours passed.

General Hammond disappeared at some point to contact Jacob and people came and went to offer them support and cup after cup of coffee but no word came from the infirmary. Jonas must have dropped off to sleep. Surprising really after so much coffee and on such uncomfortable chairs but next thing he knew Daniel was gently shaking him awake.

"Come on Jonas, we've got a briefing with Janet."

He blinked and then scrambled to his feet, finally some news. Slowly he followed the rest of his weary team to the briefing room, taking his seat and waited once again patiently. A rather ruffled and tired Janet appeared shortly after them and without any formality sat at one end of the table. General Hammond merely nodded to her to begin. She took at deep breath,

"Well they're alive and I think they'll just about stay that way. The man with Sam is in fact Major Ben Doyle, from his test results I'd say that he's been suffering from quite a serious infection but the antibiotics we gave him seem to be working. Apart from some cuts and bruises, slight dehydration and malnutrition he should make a full recovery in less than two week. Sam however isn't doing quite so well, she had a couple of broken ribs, dehydrated, she's underweight, she's suffering a lot of muscle strain but what's most worrying is her head. It appears she suffered quite a bad concussion a while back. It wouldn't be so severe if she had received treatment but with the conditions and stress she's been through it appears there's been some swelling. Her C.A.T scan shows swelling around the region that controls eyesight. It can be reduced but whether there'll be damage to her sight or other unseen damage to her brain won't be known until she wakes up. The fact that she's made it this far is a miracle in it's self. Our Major is more stubborn then any of us ever knew"

Everyone sat a moment to take in this new information before Jonas broke the silence,

"Can we see her?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea at the moment she's both physically and mentally drained. I have her on a sedative to help her sleep but I'd say she'd sleep for a couple of days without it. Maybe tomorrow."

"She'll definitely be here tomorrow."

"If she's lasted this long I'd say she'll be with us for a lot longer then that Jonas. She'll live."

"Is that all Doctor?" The General asked.

"Yes sir."

"You're all dismissed and may I recommend that all of SG-1 get some sleep, I believe Major Carter will need you all strong and well."

One by one the members of SG-1 slowly made their way from the briefing room. No one spoke and Jonas wandered to his own quarters. His mind a flurry of thoughts denying him sleep. Sam was back and although she may not come out of this unscathed she would live. Janet said so. Sam was home; maybe now they could rest easy.

Sam woke slowly and lay still with her eyes closed. She waited for the pounding in her head to begin and the feel of the cold hard ground beneath her. Nothing came. No pain in her head or her ribs for that matter. A beeping sound to her left led her to the conclusion that she was no longer in that horror of a forest. Deciding to open her eyes, hoping all the while that she would have her vision, she felt a bubble of joy float through her at the sight that greeted her. She was in the infirmary, no doubt about it.

She was surrounded by machines, the occasional one beeping, and was hooked up to a drip. It must be late as the lights were dimmed and there didn't seem to be anyone around. She was in a private room so she must have been here a while. She lay still for a moment, enjoying the feeling of soft material below her and a sense of warmth she had been dreaming about. She had survived and had made it home. The past two weeks played like a film through her mind but it was wrapped in a soft haze by the drugs, making it seem like a lifetime ago and with none of the pain she had felt. Ben! She didn't know how he was, if he was alive or dead. She groped blindly for the help button. Finally coming into contact with the cold object, she pressed the button several times, not caring who she woke. It took less then a minute for a figure to appear in the doorway. Squinting a little she was pleased to recognise Dr. Frasier.

"Janet."

The small doctor smiled so hard Sam was sure that it would crack her face.

"Sam good to see you're awake. You've been out for 3 days"

The doctor began her routine of checking Sam's vitals but Sam was unconcerned for her own wellbeing.

"Ben, where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive?" the words tripped out of her mouth.

Seeing her distress Janet answered quickly.

"He's fine Sam. Was better off then you in fact. You had us worried for a while."

Relief, he was ok, they were safe now.

"Thanks Janet."

The doctor looked surprised.

"Whatever for Sam."

She grinned,

"The drugs."

The doctor laughed and Sam joined in. The doctor leaned down and gave her a quick hug. From somewhere against her shoulder she heard a muffled voice.

"God I'm glad you're back Sam, you have no idea how worried I was."

She pulled back,

"Now I some phone calls to make but I'll be back as soon as I can."

She graced Sam with another huge grin before she turned and left. Sam couldn't remember a time when she felt better. Refusing to go back to sleep, she just enjoyed the moment for a change. She must have dozed off again; Janet had drugged her up nicely, because next thing she knew another figure was outlined in the doorway of her room. Squinting slightly she recognised the figure as Colonel O'Neill and bundled up in his arms was his tried looking son.

"Sam," he whispered softly "you awake?"

Deciding against nodding her head she croaked

"Sir?"

She watched as mixture of relief and happiness crossed his face briefly. Hearing her throaty reply he grinned.

"Wanna drink?"

She smiled as he gently placed Michael at the end of her bed and went about getting her a drink. She stared at the small child in front of her. He must be a year old by now, it had been so long since she had seen him last. He had grown so much. He returned her stare with one of his own. She grinned, if ever a son had his father's eyes. His face was flushed red with sleep and she suddenly remembered that it must be the early hours of the morning. Jack returned with a straw and cup of ice cold water which she drank greedily.

"Thanks"

"No worries."

Standing next to her bed he merely grinned down at her, obviously finding more talk unnecessary.

"A little early to be on base sir."

"Ah you know me Carter. I was just in the neighbourhood, thought I'd drop by."

She eyed him, not believing a word he said,

"Late night drive with your 1 year old son. Shouldn't you have left him safe and well in bed, at home with Nicole"

He frowned slightly at the mention of Nicole's name but brushed it off.

"Well Carter you don't really know Mike, he just demanded to go on a drive."

"Mike?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow and a giggle, it was so like him to shorten Michael's name to Mike.

Jack spotted Janet out of the corner of his eye and asked Sam to mind Mike as he left the room. The small boy was obviously not pleased to see his father leave the room but much to Sam's surprise instead of crying he turned back to her. He seemed to decide on a course of action as he dropped to his hands an knees and began to crawl forwards. A frown crossed his brow as the loose blanket on the bed hindered his progress.

Taking pity on him she leaned forward, once again grateful that the drugs dulled the pain, and pulled him to her until he was sitting on her lap. Moving around a little to make himself comfortable he quickly drifted off to sleep, not bothered a bit about the disruption of his sleep. Sam just stared at him. He really was a beautiful boy. Light brow hair lightly covered his head; he was a big enough baby for his age. Strong no doubt and stubborn if he was anything like his father. She cuddled him closer and dropped a kiss onto his head, inhaling the smell of his hair. Jack reappeared at the door and paused mid stride as he watched her. She looked up and he continued his journey to her side.

"I better get him back to bed."

She reluctantly let go of the still sleeping child and yawned herself.

"Get some sleep Carter. It's damn good to see you in the land of the living, even if it was only for a short time."

And with that he was gone as quick as he had appeared.

"Janet."

The doctor popped her head around the door.

"Any chance I could see Ben?"

The doctor hesitated but Sam did her best 'lost puppy dog' face and she relented.

"I'll see if he's up to the trip here but you are staying in bed."

She had disappeared around the corner before Sam had time to argue. A thrill of excitement ran through her at the thought of seeing Ben fit and healthy and she waited impatiently. As Sam was half way through thinking up a plan to escape Janet reappeared pushing Ben in a wheelchair. He did not look pleased.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while but make it quick."

She looked like she was warning two schoolchildren to play nice.

"Something wrong with your legs Major?"

"Don't start Sam, I already had an argument with the lovely Doctor Fraiser."

Making a quick scan of the surrounding area he slowly stood and made his way over to her bed. Sitting himself on the bed he met her accusing eyes.

"Hey there is nothing wrong with my legs and besides it's much more comfortable here." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. They just grinned at each other inanely until the silence just stretched that bit too long. Gently he picked up one of Sam's hands and held it in both of hers.

"I don't know if they told you about General Hardy." Confusion crossed Sam's face and Ben's fingers instinctively tightened around her fingers.

"Apparently he'd disappeared. Something must have happened or someone must have…" he stuttered to a stop and shook his head in defeat.

"They left us out there Sam. They buried the mission and left us out there to die. No more supplies, no more intel."

Silence filled the room like toxic gas as Sam took in this new and horrible turn of events.

"Sam… about what I said on the planet. I did mean it."

"I know you did Ben." She squeezed his hand to reassure him.

"Doc says that I should be able to leave the infirmary by the end of the week. You should be outta here a bit after that. You will come with me to tell the others won't you? I know that most of them will stay off-world, but you will come with me won't you?"

Sam decision was made with no fore thought, it was born of instinct deeply ingrained in her being.

"Course I will, can't leave anything up to those idiots or did you forget so quick?"

He grinned at her and was slowly leaning forward to kiss her when Janet returned.

"Right. Sleep. Now." She ordered.

They both smiled at her sheepishly and Ben made his way back to the wheelchair as Janet stared at him pointedly.

"Thanks Sam, for saving me on that planet. I wouldn't have made it without you." Were Ben's departing words.

Sam smiled as Janet wheeled him away and at last gave into the exhaustion that demanded that she sleep.

Sam was thrilled, she'd sat around the infirmary for a week and a half and quite frankly it was doing her head in. She had been inundated with visitors from the labs she once worked in to the techs in the control room. A member of SG-1 was always by her side either boring her with archaeological waffle, explaining just how a Jaffa joke was funny (she still didn't get it), news on just what temperature it was in Australia that day or telling her all the funny incidents that Jonas and Daniel had created on missions. Janet had also informed her that Nicole and Jack had split but only after she had royally put her foot in it (she still cringed at the memory).

Sam tried not to think about the whole Jack and Nicole thing; it still didn't sit well with her. Apparently General Hammond had rented Sam's house to a member of SG-7 who was currently off world for the next week. The General had asked him before he had gated off world if she could stay there while he was gone. He had agreed and 40 minutes ago Janet had given her the all clear to go home on the strict instruction that she take it easy. She was going to live it up. She was due to gate out with Ben the next morning to tell the rest of her men that they had been abandoned. He was running around the base making preparations and tying up lose ends so that even though none of the black ops team were likely to come back to earth if they decided to do so they would be left alone. So she was itching to get home as soon as she could, the more time in her own house the better.

SG-1 were currently on a daylong mission much to the protests of the Colonel (the grapevine really did work at some speed around this base) anyway she would see them tomorrow. The SF who was driving her home finally arrived and they made pleasant small talk all the way to her house. Waving the talkative young man goodbye she turned and slipped the key in the door. She quickly entered and flicked on a light to see how much had changed. Her furniture still remained and the room was neat and tidy. The only main difference being the odd photo of an unknown man here and there. Making her way to the main bedroom she found it in much the same state. She threw herself on the bed and inhaled the sharp sent of clean sheets.

She didn't realise you could miss a bed so much. Sitting up she noticed the door to her bathroom ajar; she would have a bath. A long hot bubble bath, simply heaven. Then she would curl up in front of the T.V in her favourite pair of sweats, watch the slushiest movies she could find and order take out. Turning on the taps of the bath she ran them until they were the perfect temperature and poured an ungodly amount of bubble bath into the hot water. Stripping as quickly as possible she slipped into the bath and sighed. She soaked herself in the warm water for over an hour letting it soothe her stiff muscles. She then dressed in her baggy old sweats (there was no way she was leaving these behind this time) and a tank top and positioned herself in front of the T.V. Just as she dithering between a pizza or Chinese take out the door bell rang. Looking down at her shabby clothes she decided it would be no one she knew so let them think what they think.

Pulling open the door she was shocked to be confronted by Colonel Jack O'Neill. He was dressed casually and a plastic bag hung lazily from one hand.

"Hey Cater!" he looked her up and down "settling in ok I see."

"Sir, What are…."

"Ah Carter I am no longer your commanding officer and enough is enough my name is Jack"

"Sir." she stopped again as Jack glared at her in a not so friendly manner.

"Ok, Jack," he smiled "what are you doing here?"

"Just thought I'd reintroduce you with some of earth's culinary delights." He lifted the bag as proof "Chinese take out and rocky road ice cream."

As though to voice its opinion her stomach rumbled rather loudly. Jack failed to suppress his grin as she opened the door wider to let him in.

"Who am I to refuse a free meal."

Both quickly settled in on the couch and Sam supplied them with beers from the fridge, she would have to remember to replace them tomorrow.

Conversation and laughter flowed freely between them and Jack cracked jokes that Sam couldn't help but giggle at. Soon the food was gone and most of the ice cream as well, flicking through the channels Sam saw Jack stop and grin. Turing her attention from trying to scrape the last of the ice cream into her mouth to the T.V. she smiled as she recognised the familiar film credits. The Wizard of Oz was just starting; she couldn't have planned it better if she'd tried. Soon the rich food in her stomach and the soft cushions got the better of her and she dozed off.

The final credits rolled off the screen and an infomercial took their place. Jack turned to Sam to find her dozing on his shoulder. He smiled as he brought a hand up to her face, gently brushing his fingers through her hair. He had wanted to talk to her all week but they were never alone together and then General Hammond had sent them on some pointless mission. Jack could have shot him if he didn't respect the man so much. She had already left the base when they came back and he couldn't give up the opportunity to have her all to himself. The past few months of his life were a roller coaster of emotion. Losing Sam, finding her and the losing her again, losing Nicole and then finding Sam again. If anything it only severed to prove how much he could miss Sam. How she was an even bigger part of his life then the mother of his child could be. He wouldn't let her leave this time. It would kill him. Turning so that her head now rested on his chest, he gently picked her up. She woke as he lifted her,

"Jack"

"Time for bed Sam."

"HMMM"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and made no further comments. Jack walked to her bedroom and placed her on her bed, he then tucked her in securely. He once again brushed his finger through her hair as he crouched down by her bed.

"You can't drive home, you were drinking." Even half asleep her mind was still acute.

"I'll crash in the spare room."

"Good."

He brushed a gentle kiss on her forehead as whispered,

"Goodnight."

Standing he reluctantly made his way from the room but was halted by Sam's last sleep dipped words,

"I'm glad you're here Jack."

He grinned. There was not a chance in hell he'd let this woman go again. He shut the door after him and made his way to the spare room wishing that he could hold Sam in his arms all night. Either way he would sleep well tonight.

Jack left early the next morning, leaving a note for Sam to say he would see her later. A backlog of paperwork waited for him in his office and he really had to get through some of it. Nicole had Mike for the rest of the week so he didn't bother going home. He had a quick shower and changed into his BDU's and by 8:30 he had started on his first report.

Jack was making good progress for a change, his mind for once not occupied with troubled thoughts. By lunchtime he was nearly half way through the mountain in his in-box. He stretched lazily contemplating whether he should get food or seek out Carter. An announcement on the P.A foiled is plans.

"Colonel O'Neill to the control room."

Jack ambled along to the control room finding no need to hurry. General Hammond was waiting for him there.

"Colonel, could I speak with you please."

This sounded rather ominous so he held his tongue and followed the General to his office.

"Take a seat Colonel."

He complied uneasily, nervously waiting for the General to tell him what seemed to be on is mind.

"Colonel… Jack." Now that definitely wasn't a good sign. "I just got off the phone with the President. He informed me that if Major Carter returns to the Black Ops mission she wouldn't be able to return to earth. She'll be court-martialed and imprisoned if she does. I'm not all that sure for his reasons son but I'm damn sure there's some nasty politics involved."

Panic quickly made itself know in Jack, preventing him for speaking.

"If she remains she can continue working within the SGC. I'd very much like that to happen Jack. Major Doyle will inform Major Carter of this news when she gets to the gate room. I'd like her to have a reason to stay."

He paused as Jack let this information sink in. If Sam left she would be gone for good; she would never come back.

"I think you know what needs to be done Jack."

He sure as hell did, he bolted from the room driven on by fear and panic, he had to find Carter.

Sam was cutting it a bit fine. She was meant to be gating out to her team in 20 minutes. Ben had managed to get to the locker room before her and when she had declined his offer to share he had left her standing in the corridor to wait for her turn. Pulling on her left boot she slowly began doing up her lace. She was apprehensive about returning to her team. All the time she was stuck on that damn planet she had wanted nothing more then to go home and when she had thought of home it was always the SGC and earth.

But what of her team. She had made close friends; the steely-eyed Dr. Larson was almost like a second mother. A slightly eccentric second mother but one none less. And there was Ben of course. He still stood by his declaration of love although he didn't push her about her feelings. He must know her better then she realised. Over the past couple of months she had flat out ignored her feelings. Her sense of loss, being homesick, scared she had brushed everything under the carpet but now it looked as though she was facing another decision. General Hammond made it very clear that she was welcome back at the SGC and she knew that none of the members of her Black Ops team would return to earth. There was nothing to bind them to earth. They could just as easily create a home on another planet. That meant that Ben would go too, but would she?

Little had changed since she left. True she had friends at the SGC but now she had new friends (expect maybe for that idiot Ryan) off world. She still had no close family on earth, she didn't contact Mark and it seemed he was none the wiser to her absence. She still had no children or a husband but then Ben did offer potential. A picture of Jack grinning at her last night appeared in her minds eye. She smiled at the mental picture; she had fun last night. She had fun laughing and talking with a dear old friend. She still felt for him, she always would but it didn't sting so much any more. She knew of his separation from Nicole but he never said anything directly to her. Unwilling to choose where and with whom she would stay until she had to she pulled her heavy pack onto her back. She'd have to hurry to the gate room. Taking the well-known route she went as speedily as she could. Sam was halted by a loud shout just as she was about to round the corner and reach her destination. She turned to find a sweaty looking Colonel O'Neill jogging up to her.

"Sir."

He glared at her while taking deep breaths in order to get his wind back. Sam quickly corrected herself; he got really annoyed when she called him that.

"I mean Jack, could this wait I have to gate out."

"No."

Ok she didn't expect that response, couldn't she just talk to him later.

"If you leave you can't come back."

What! He wouldn't let her come back if she left. Reading her thoughts he corrected her.

"The President said he'd have to arrest any of the operatives returning form the Black Ops mission so if you leave with them you can't come back."

Ooooohh. That made more sense but now she was faced with a decision that she was unprepared to make moment ago.

"Don't go Sam. Stay here, stay with us." Jack pleded.

"I… ah…" Sam was stumped.

"Please Sam, please don't go."

Sam's mind buzzed into overtime, if she stayed she'd lose Ben. If she stayed she might return to the despair she had felt only a year ago. Jack must have seen her turmoil because he took a step forward right into her personal space. He placed his two hands on either side of her face and kissed her. It wasn't wild or desperate but soft and full of love. Sam responded to his warm affection until they pulled apart to breathe. Resting his forehead on hers; his hands remained cupping her face,

"I love you Sam"

She blinked and then hastily pulled back from him. No, that wasn't right.

"You married someone else, you have a child with her."

"It was a mistake Sam, it's you I love."

The Stargate burst to life filling the tense silence that hung between them and it's blue light filtered into the corridor they now stood in.

"No, Ben loves me, you married someone else."

Jack's face tensed,

"Do you love him?"

"I…."

"Stay on earth Sam, stay with me."

She stared into his deep brown eyes wishing she could find an answer there.

"Sam, there you are, you coming or what?" Ben had stepped around the corner and waited for Sam to join him.

Standing in between the two men she looked left to Jack and then to her right to Ben. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, it was time to choose again.


End file.
